My Son, the Elf

John, one year-old, devouring a giant candy cane. Notice his eyes are closed in pure sugar-induced bliss.

John, like his mother, loves sugar. If he was allowed, he would subsist on a diet of marshmallows, whipped cream, gum balls, popsicles and Gummy Lifesavers. My daily goal is to get him to ingest a certain amount of the healthy foods he will eat (shredded wheat, cheese, yogurt, apples, crackers, green vegetables) to counter-act the junk that he will inevitably ingest over the course of a normal day. No matter where candy and sweets are hidden, he will track them down. Most of the time he's pretty good about asking if it's okay if he eats whatever he finds, but it's meltdown city if you say no. Several times he has brought along a piece of string cheese with a handful of candy because he has heard me tell him so many times that he has to eat some cheese before he can have anything else.

So, if he were allowed, and if they existed, John would be very content to live with the North Pole elves, whose four main food groups are limited to candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup. Throw in popsicles, and I don't think he would ever come home.

Amy